HOORAH 2010!!!
On the horizon, adventitious prospects and new ventures.
Extending myself to any opportunity – no holds barred.
Stepping out of myself leaving my inhibitions behind.
This is my year to be bold and to shine!
Rise above the years of people lacking character, rudeness, utter disappointments, no commitment to their lives.
Flaky people, even worse unreliable employers not worth my time or my dime!
Don't waste away in a gambling, drinking, no moral city devoid of human decency.
Stomp on the rejection, failure, and demoralizing feat to bypass the unemployment line.
This city has beaten me down, and this is the last straw.
Relocating six-hundred and seven miles away from anything familiar to me.
Late bloomer, leaving the nest at thirty-two years old, discovering a world of endless pleasure.
Fearful to leave family and friends whom I will miss dearly.
Insecurities and conflicts leading to my decision, point to doubt without purpose.
I combat it with reassurance from my parents, that my new life will not be lonely and with great confidence -
I am ready.
Driven by an inner power that reminds me of the core my hate.
This city has to be listed as minus-three cities not to live in.
Re-enforces that my new life will not lead me astray.
Battling the forces of nature for resources to move.
Outlook is positive much more so now than the year before.
Greener pastures await my arrival to the "Mile High" city of Denver, Colorado.
Expansive up and coming social networking away from the electronics of today.
Urban city life promoting fitness, healthy living, majestic mountains, and adventure trails.
Banish the unhealthy, stressful habits, resulting in a myriad of possible disease.
Positive thinking and a commitment to myself to add on a few years to my life.
Looking through the looking glass my future before me with happiness and success.
No evil, no sorrow, no hurtful people to get in my way.
Vibrant with interests that travel the globe with a special someone nobody knows.
Exuberance exceeds any emotion I can ever remember feeling.
My home, my life, of two-thousand and ten!
floodgates of my mind
The sound of a song I have known for years, flooded the emotional gates.
A burst of emotion and tears left the gates of my eyes.
Trying to be respectful and maintain decorum,
I silently sobbed through the song clutching a stone with the word "Faith" on it.
With my face red, I quietly excused myself from my family.
Passing the usher with my eyes full of water I quietly said;"I'll be right back".
I barely made it outside the door, to the lobby, before I began bawling with
overwhelming feelings I had not expressed days prior.
My derriere found a chair inside the smaller, empty sanctuary reflecting on the incredible news of my cancer remission.
Thankful for my gift of life, the Hanukkah holiday is even more spiritual.
As the Miracle of Lights, started with something small and unknown developing into an amazing feat and miracle.
Thinking of my past, and facing the struggles in memory recognizing my prayers to God were answered.
Knowing in my heart, I am not alone!
I have no doubt that my spirituality and belief in God has become increased greatly filling my life with more belief and purpose.
My faith and hope proved to be the creator of my fortitude wavering
during that long unpleasant journey.
The Almighty prevailed on my
prayers and relieved me of health hardships.
With a long silent prayer my eyes dry and serenity fills me.
At my return to my family, my mom instinctively knew the reason for my exit. "I felt your emotion, because I felt it too."
WANT TO BREAK FREE! 2009
I want to break free!
My life imploded by my diagnosis. Deep inside in my soul I felt sorrow and fear. Life-altering whirlwind of physical and mental suffering. Hodgkin-Lymphoma a disease that found me questioning everything familiar and secure in my life. I want to break free! From knowing what I will continue to endure.
The recesses of traveling back and forth from
In my heart, deep inside my soul I know I am better than this, stronger than conscious will.
Continuously, I feel like this should not be a part of my life. |
BONDED FOR LIFE
|
victory of remission 2010Commencement time is here.
The graduation to be a healthy beauty queen. Through struggle and hope lays a end day. That is today, HOORAY! No doubt that my journey set out for me last May, was purposeful, but not enough to stay ill. Thank you, God for hearing and granting my blessings and prayers!!! I will never be faithless in your mission as I know, the lessons brought in front of me were for a reason. Now, with a horrible disease just a few hours behind me. I feel none other than the feeling of exuberance success, and relief. To pay it forward, I will continue in my journey to achieve personal goals, that will then benefit others. Onwards, from Duarte, California back to home in Las Vegas, Nevada. "Allie" is waiting for me to jump on me and hear the good news. Story of the relationship between owner & pet.
My dog Allie felt the negative energy in the house and internalized the collected emotions herself. She would hate to see me leave with mom, just seeing all the material items packed for the trips every two weeks. In the subconscious of her little mind, she knew we would return. I saw the hurt in Allie's eyes and as close as we are she continuously was there for me, trying to lift my mood or heal me in some small way. Pets do feel emotions good, bad, hurt, or ill. Respect your furry-friends and go to them for support. |
IN A MILLION YEARS, I COULD NOT ENVISION... 2009
In a million years, I could not imagine my body taken from me.
From limb to limb, coursing through my veins, my blood pumping.
The rejection of health, the internal emotional pain.
My mind was there but my body was failing me.
I fell deeper into this maze, a maze of internal fate.
In my moments of doubt, I stood strong feeling intensity from my own will.
In a million years, I could not envision infusions of cocktails not involving Tequila or Vodka,
having the life taken out of me and sleeping my only solace.
trials & tribulations of cancer 2009
Powerful rushes of emotion swoosh through the crowds while sirens wail and people scamper.
Life is no longer fresh, precious, or beloved.
Death means more than life.
For life is not protected by GOD, no more than man protects it.
So would you not expect death to be the same?
Typhoons, Hurricanes, Tornadoes an uncontrollable disaster leaving parts of earth in ruins.
Homes destroyed, keepsakes never to be recovered, everlasting memories to never looked at again.
Hearts and memories the only semblance of any new hope and survival.
We must ask ourselves to fight, and fight hard, to become worthy of repairing ourselves
and unite together to rebuild ourselves and our lives!
And, so it is told that the hurt healed, any of the wounded people that could live did with pride,
the dead respectfully remembered, and the communities became unified to seek the hope they were looking for, in each other.
inner confidence 2010
Strength for myself.
Strength for friends and family.
Strength to believe.
Strength to get through hardships and sorrow.
Strength in trusting my abilities.
Strength to have faith in the world.
Strength to breathe and believe.
Strength in uncertain times suck as sickness.
Strength to feel whole again and not be broken down.
Life takes us in a whirlwind of directions with no certainty to where it will lead.
Events that occur can affect and influence us to react with emotion to our bitter core.
Strength is about courage to feel strongly over a power or force.
The power to resist negativity, and strain.
A coping mechanism of sanity to avoid emotional breakdown from stress,
pain, and unfathomable situations.
To engage in the mindset that one has the ability to endure and grasp far more
than we give ourselves credit for.
Reach to the stars, let the light shine in for a brand new day.
Be the ruler of your future. Combat the bad part of life with positive influences.
Live with clarity and hopefulness that today is over, and tommorow will be a better day!
cigarettes 2010
Gives such a sense of happiness.
Morning coffee and a faithful cigarette.
Cigarettes during cooking and after a meal.
Cigarettes to kill the stress and nerves.
Manufactured nicotine - gives a thrilling feeling.
Cigarettes a means not to change.
To deal with difficult situations.
Cope with family gatherings.
Better than alcohol without risk.
Smoke-filled break rooms, and yellow teeth.
In the world, there are many harmful things,
but now all ends lead to disease or death.
Congregating habit of addicting co-workers.
Cigarettes, Cigarettes, Cigarettes.
Long white folded non-marijuana sticks.
To avoid boredom, waiting, and traffic.
An true addiction, and obsession.
Money sought then gone instantly.
Plenty of reasons to quit, but none to STOP!
Hideous, revolting habit and still many do:
"Puff! Puff! Puff!"